Happy Saturday good folks, so much has been taking place in the last few weeks in my life. Good things mainly, and I’m greatful for what God is doing in my life during this time. In all the good I couldn’t help but to be reminded of grief and what comes with it. Grief is one of those tricky things where it comes and goes and when it hits most times it hits hard.
On my journey of healing, I’ve had many pit stops where grief has been almost what you can call inevitable. I’ve often felt like no matter how hard I’ve worked at healing and overcoming the residue of pain, grief reared its head up from time to time to try to take me back to where I used to be. I realized that even in all my growth and healing, I’m still grieving a loss that in hindsight I believe I’ve suppressed my emotions towards for a while. Now that I’m in the process of acceptance, grief at times hit heavy all at once. In this I’ve been working on truly trusting God for comfort because comfort is truly what I need. It’s me choosing to trust that God will make all things for me better than I can imagine. That’s not just my hope but a promise that God has given me.
There have been so many times where I have doubted if I could hear the voice of God in all of this, but it wasn’t that I couldn’t hear God it was simply that I was not ready to accept what He was revealing to me. To be honest I still struggle accepting the facts or reality of a thing. Now that I’m choosing to accept what is, it’s like grief is hitting harder than before. One thing that I can say is that on this journey I’ve learned how to go through all of the different phases of this process by leaning on God fully. A lot of people can easily see how you present on the outside or in person and they may think that you have it all together, but they never fully see what you go through and face behind closed doors.
I share this authentically because I’ve been grieving many things for the past few years and at many times the only place where I recieved and experienced grace was through God alone. In all of this I’ve learned about the significance of having sacredcy. Along with being as well as having a safe place and space to be broken and loved back to wholeness. I learned and valued that in my brokenness as well as in my grief. I allowed God to love me back to wholeness. I’m still allowing God to love me back to wholeness and heal me from day to day.
My prayer is that when grief hits we become more aware at where it hits and trigger us. I pray that in it all we allow God to love us and love us back to wholeness. I pray that we experience a healing that only God can give us.
With love,
-Yours Truly, Eb
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